OVRC Career Insights

Howdy folks! It’s Betty again – and this time I want to discuss something that we don’t get into in the workshop any more because it’s almost its OWN workshop due to the complexity. That topic is how our relationships affect our positivity.

We can have the best intentions in the world. However, our free will kind of bumps up against everyone else’s free will and sometimes that makes things tough. We know how things should be, and of course, we’re always right. The challenge is that everyone else knows how things should be for themselves, and of course, they are always right too!

It is important to choose your companions carefully when you are in job search mode. Family members and loved ones who have had different experiences of job search will often be frustrated with you for being ‘too picky’ or ‘spending so much time on the computer’. This is not helpful feedback.

Here’s a thought: You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. If that idea caused you to say “ouch”, as it did with me the first time, it might be worth investigating your relationships. It’s also important to note that people will pull you up or down, because you want to be loved and accepted.

Here’s an example or two from my own life; when I entered post secondary (especially the couple of years I spent at university before I changed gears), there was some blowback from my family. They wanted me to have an education, but I think they were afraid I’d outgrow them. As my circle of friends shifted, so did my priorities and my desire to have an impact on the world.

When I started working out regularly, certain people in my friendship group felt like I was “always at the gym” and “never did anything fun any more” and “was so picky about food”. This was in direct contrast to the environment at the gym, where I had people who were inspiring me and encouraging me to do more and embrace a healthier lifestyle.

In many ways the single most healthy thing (physically and emotionally) you can do for yourself while you are job searching is to carefully choose who you spend your time with and how much of your energy you give them.

This isn’t always easy. Sometimes people we love very much are part of the problem, and we may not want to (or be able to) just stop talking to them for a few months! So let me share some tips and tricks that have come up in the workshop for situations where you have to spend time with someone you know is not going to be supportive:

• Meet in a public space: People that are antagonistic will often ‘behave better’ if they know they are being observed or may be judged for their behavior
• Set time limits: Explain that you are only available for an hour or whatever it is and then stick to that. Enlist a friend to call you and interrupt if you must
• Redirect them: No matter what I am talking to certain family members about, it always ends up being about my excess weight. I’ve gotten very good at changing the subject
• Embrace the power of ‘Thanks’: Sometimes the best thing you can do is acknowledge them for the input and say you’ll think about it – we all just want to be heard. You don’t have to AGREE with them, just let them know the message was received and move on
• Reframe their comments: Even the most obnoxious nag thinks they’re being helpful. Take their comments within that mental framework. They Mean Well, even if they’re annoying you
• Don’t take it personally: Much of the time their frustration either isn’t about you, or is only vaguely about you. (They’re on your case because they’re afraid they might lose THEIR job due to COVID-19 and so watching you struggle makes them feel threatened, for example)
• Change your physiology: Stand up. Sit down. Try leaning back from the ‘passionate discussion’ and placing your hands face up on your thighs to create open posture. It actually can help
• Set boundaries for behavior: This only works if you have the stamina to enforce them, but sometimes it can be helpful to just be plain with someone that their behavior is NOT okay and needs to stop. Now. Sometimes we’re just too darned Canadian. No is a complete sentence
  • Do NOT make idle threats. “If you bring it up again I’m never speaking to you again” or “If you don’t stop doing that I’m leaving you” are ultimatums, not boundaries. They are manipulative and dishonest statements that the other person can – and will – ignore.
• Ask why: If someone’s behavior is offensive, it can be severely derailing to them to ask why they are doing this. It’s especially effective with racism, sexism, and homophobia, because naming it and asking “why is that funny” usually stops it because they have to admit it’s not
• Have something to do: Bring a board game or some cards so there is an activity you can focus on. Invite the other person to bring a craft or project they’re working on to talk about. Providing a positive, creative focus can help keep conversations from getting frustrating

It is important to remember, particularly when you’re getting frustrated, that people giving you advice have the best of intentions. No, good intentions don’t cancel out poor behavior, but bearing that in mind can help you keep your calm.

To quote a friend of mine, no is also an answer. To repeat what I said earlier, no is also a complete sentence. If you know that going to Uncle Jack’s barbeque is going to be a minefield, then you are allowed to say “no, I can’t make it, but thank you for the invitation.”

You are not obligated to explain why. You are not required to apologize, or make up reasons. And if they won’t accept no for an answer, see the very beginning about reassessing how much of your energy you give them right now.

This applies online too. I have a few people I love dearly that I’ve had to mute on Facebook at various points because their behavior is so distracting and destructive that I just need to not hear their rants about various topics for a month, especially conspiracy theories about the job market or the government or any of a number of vague and unhelpful things. No thanks. Have a nice life.

Hopefully you find some of these tips helpful. Be well, stay safe, and remember to look after yourself.

Written By: Lianne Stephensen – Career Counsellor and Workshop Facilitator – Osborne Village Resource Centre

As a Career Counselor, I see many people in career transition at different stages of their life who need assistance with job search. As someone who has changed careers several times, I have come to know the importance of developing an effective job search plan. Many times with clients, that I see, what is often neglected, is how they are managing the difficulties of the typical process of job search itself. Being through job search and career changes numerous times, I can fully understand the frustration and fear around interviewing and not getting the job or the disappointment and the financial burden of being out of work. In all honesty, if I could tell my 20 something year old self what my 40 something year old self knows now, my career path would probably have been much different. Having said that, I gained so much perspective and knowledge that I now use when assisting clients in the same situation I was and so there was definitely a reason for the career path that I call my life.

Here are my Top 7 Tips to Developing an Effective Job Search Plan

1. Determining Your Why

Searching for a new job is almost a full-time job, as it takes hard work, time and commitment to succeed. The last thing you want to do is to send out hundreds of resumes and wait for a reply that may never come. What I often recommend to clients is how important it is to be organized right from the start. In today’s fiercely competitive market, you need to have a strategic plan for your job search before you actually begin, from where to look, to identifying the specific kind of roles you want to apply for. Are you looking for a new job because you hate your current field of work or is it because you have become so good at your job that you no longer feel challenged in the role you are currently in and need to step up and find something more stimulating?

There are a lot of really good books out there on finding your ideal career to help you figure out what you want to do. At the very least, you should know which fields or industries you are interested in, and what types of positions you are suitable for. In addition, you want to have variety in the types of job search activities you are doing such as networking, interview practice as well as different job search strategies to help you find the job you love perhaps a lot sooner and with greater success.

Some job search techniques include prioritizing tasks, creating a target network list, researching companies, applying only to relevant jobs, and ensuring you fit in adequate breaks and variety in job search activities.

2. Understand the Realities of The New Workforce

The permanent job, for the most part, is becoming harder and harder to come by. There has been a large increase in contract, temporary, and part-time work over the years with entrepreneurship on the rise. For these reasons, self-awareness, self-esteem, flexibility, and creativity are more important than ever. People must assume responsibility for their own lives and financial planning. Lifelong learning and constant retraining is essential for workers of all ages. In order to continue to be successful, workers will need to continually prepare for the next level of technology. For each individual, changing careers several times during their work lives will still be the norm, and so will the need to have a “portfolio of skills, “which can be marketed in different places.

In summary, as a job seeker you need to be open to change, be willing to retrain, and stay informed about new and emerging work trends.

3. Reframing Your Perspective by Developing a Growth Mindset

Some people get upset when they have lulls in their job search simply because they did not expect them. This is not pessimistic; it is realistic. There will always be times when someone will not get back to you, networking meetings will not go well, and you do not know what to do next. What I often tell clients is inevitably you will be rejected from jobs, you will not get the interview or it will take longer than it should. The trick is being able to make peace with all this by recognizing in advance that setbacks are normal. Strategize and plan for ways to remember this and comfort yourself when you are in a middle of a setback. You can write down your top ideas for example in a job journal to remind yourself of them or post positive affirmations in your office to help you to stay encouraged and motivated.

People often think that skills like networking, interviewing, and negotiating are innate, but this perspective could not be further from the truth.

Just learning anything in life, from how to make homemade bread, to training for a marathon, job search skills are learned – and require lots of practice to become proficient. For example, your first networking calls may be a bit awkward or you may sound overly rehearsed in your first interviews. That is okay and very normal. You will only get better with time and sufficient practice. I know as I have been there myself and have seen many of my clients improve with additional knowledge and practice.

Another tip I teach in my workshops and one-on-one appointments to individuals is that it is important to pay attention to your thoughts and that instead of having a “fixed” mindset you want to develop a “growth” mindset.

The beauty of a growth mindset is that anyone can adopt it any time; you do not have to buy anything or spend years learning the concept. It is simply a choice and change in your perspective– and something you can start doing right now to start building resilience. It takes some effort, but it is worth it as it enables you to be more positive, hopeful, and flexible in your thoughts and actions.

When you are disappointed by something, instead of getting upset (which is natural), ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” You can also experiment with challenging yourself with the question, “Why is this actually the best thing for me?”

4. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

This can be a formal or informal group of other job seekers. It should also include your family and friends. People are much more resilient when they have support from others. Family, friends, other job seekers, and our staff at OVRC can all help you be much more resilient and provide the support and the encouragement you need, particularly when times get tough like when you did not get job offer you wanted .

5. Set Up Small Wins

Are you better at research than writing cover letters? Do some research before starting your cover letter to prime your mind for success. Then do some research after spending time on the cover letter to reward yourself. Prefer networking? Schedule one to three networking meetings a week. Fill your time with valuable activities that you enjoy. Emphasize the ones you like more and use them strategically to help you feel successful. The momentum you gain from that will help you carry you forward.

6. Being Brave Means Being Vulnerable

You will never know how something will go unless you try. Even if it is small steps that make you, uncomfortable such as panel interviews or setting up an informational interview with someone. You cannot learn from that which you do not know. In my Effective Job Search Planning workshop, I teach participants how to develop SMART goals, which refer to: Specific, Meaningful, Actionable, Relevant, and Timebound. This form of goal setting method has been around for many years and is easy to learn and incorporate into your job search. By developing SMART goals, it will enable you to be more specific and allow for clearer direction. Your goals can be daily, weekly or monthly if you like that you can write down and later assess how you are doing and whether you need to make any adjustments or changes along the way. An example of a SMART goal could include, “I will network or message 3-6 people on Linked In in my industry in the next two weeks.”

Creating goals also gives you the motivation to step outside your comfort zone and write down that which you want to achieve. For those of us who are visual learners, this can also be an empowering way to move actions from thought, to written word, which will hopefully lead to a desired outcome. It does not have to be something big. The key is to remember that just taking one small step, no how matter how big, is a STEP. An action that you may have been too afraid to take before, but now you have. Check in with yourself after you have completed it and ask yourself, how did that make you feel? What went well or what are you willing to do next time? Keep challenging yourself to move forward!

7. Prioritize the Things You Love in Life During Your Search

There is one more very important thing you need to remember to do during your job search. That is to prioritize activities you love to do!

Since job searching can be extremely stressful, making time for self-care is very important! I know for me, when I was in job search mode, I would often try to go to the local Y and participate in a deep-water aqua class two or three times per week. I loved having that routine in the morning and being able to socialize with others and feel good doing something healthy for my body and mind. I would then continue with my job search afterwards feeling renewed and energized.

Incorporating in a fun activity instead of say hopping online and searching non-stop for jobs for four hours can help bring perspective, balance, and joy into your life. It will also allow you to manage your time and energy better. Other examples could include spending time with family, running, yoga, hiking, or anything else that you really like that maybe you have or have not included as part of your self-care routine!
In summary, job seekers can improve the time they spend finding work, by being more organized and more productive. The general rule is to get specific as to what are the areas of your job search that are going well and not so well. Are you scheduling breaks, self-care, time out to recharge and rejuvenate your mind and body? Looking for jobs is still hard work, however, the way we approach it in a more efficient and positive manner can make a world of difference! The key thing to remember is that we can all learn to improve our capacity to find work more effectively and creating a job search action plan that works!

References:
Hund, Heather (2018). Art of Job Search: A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding a Job You Love.
Graham, S. (2018). The Canadian Career Strategist: CCS eGuide. Toronto: Career Professionals of Canada.

By Betty Punkert, Employment Facilitator/Computer Instructor

Frequently I work with clients who are looking to make a substantial change in what kind of work they are doing. This may be because they are new Canadians and do not yet have the certification they need. It may be because they have undergone physical or mental health concerns that mean they cannot return to their old career

In any case there is often very strong resistance to the fact that I am trying to simplify their resume or omit particular skills or education as they are not relevant to what comes next. But they worked very HARD on that certification, they remind me. They are very PROUD of that accomplishment. They don’t want to give it up because it is important, and this is the key idea here, to THEM.

Let me use an analogy from another area of life to help make this clear.

Parable of the Chef

You and your best friend (or your life partner) have decided you want to try out a particular new restaurant. It’s quite expensive, and so you’ve been saving and planning ahead to make this a memorable experience. You check out the menu online and have decided you know exactly what you want and you have been imagining how awesome it would taste for weeks.

You arrive at the restaurant and with great anticipation, place your order for your meal. And yet when the server comes back, it’s not what you ordered at all. It’s something else on the menu. Perhaps you wanted chicken and got steak. Either way, even if it is more expensive than what you asked for, you are upset because it’s not what you wanted.

When you complain to the server, they respond with the explanation of, “well, the chef is very good at that dish, and they are very proud of how hard they have worked on it, so that’s what you are getting because it’s what they think you need to have.”

Are you feeling very satisfied right now? Probably not.

Give Them What They Want

And yet, when we insist on overselling ourselves or forcing our specialized upon an employer, not because it’s what they asked for (the job ad) but because it’s important to US, aren’t we doing the exact same thing as that chef? With exactly the same results?

Look, you need to sell what they’re buying. And if you were an engineer or a doctor or an accountant in a previous life but you’re looking to do something new, you have to sell the something NEW effectively. Your new employer only cares about what you will offer them going forward. Your past provides context in this situation, and if you’re trying to make it provide validation, you may be approaching the challenge from the wrong angle.

Focus on their needs, not yours, and you will get more responses.

If you’re having trouble figuring out how to separate your past from your future and presenting the skills you need to get your next job instead of your last one, give us a call on Monday morning before eight a.m. at 204-989-6503. Leave your name and number, and someone will call you to book an appointment with an employment facilitator to help narrow things down.